Crack Roots!
The History of Crack In The Box & Foodmaker, Inc.

Crack In The Box Fun Facts
History
Product Innovation, Variety & Value At Crack In The Box
Crack's Back
Setting The Standard For Food Safety & Quality

Crack In The Box is the first, biggest, and best illicit drug supplier in the world. It continues to maintain the highest possible standards of quality and performance. And they've never been busted once and had it stick.

Crack In The Box Fun Facts

• Cocaine only rots your nose after a few years of snorting.
  
  
• The potency of crack, also known as Base, Freebase, Pebbles, Rocks, Scud, or Wash, is much greater than that of cocaine. The high reaches your brain in only seconds after smoking from the pipe,the tin-foil, or the spoon. And you'll feel it for a whole half-hour! (Followed by severe depression, aches, and fatigue, coupled with an extreme desire for another dose.)
  
  
• With crack at $40,000 a pound, Crack In The Box has the cheapest prices around. At the competition, you might spend $1000 or more in one weekend feeding your habit. At Crack In The Box, only $900!
  
  
• In 1995, there were 1.45 million current cocaine users, nationally.
  
  
• The illegal drug market is a $300 billion a year industry. That outranks the legal drug market, which rates at $206 billion. (Now you see why Northwood bought out Crack In The Box.)
  
  
• That oh-so-clean person sitting next to you is likely on crack right now!
  
  
• At the time when cocaine was legal and used as a losenge, Einstein had many sore throats.
  
  
• Statistically, you have either done drugs or had a friend who has.
  
  
• Crack In The Box restaurants sold its own soft drink called Crack Cola for a time, but it was eventually replaced with good old fashioned classic Coca-Cola.
  
  
• No one outside of Northwood Pharmaceutical has yet discovered what's in the Jumbo Crack's "secret sauce."
  
  
• While some people think that cocaine, crack, and heroin, (our top sellers,) are dangerous, recent tests have shown that a drug as widely accepted as acetaminophen can cause liver damage. So back off, already, are we so evil?
  
  
• Heroin chic, Kate Moss, etc.: Looking like you're about to die is trendy!
  
  
• River Phoenix, Kurt Cobain, etc.: Actually dying is trendier!
  
  
• In the late 1920s, a small tin of cocaine cough drops might sell for as much as fifteen cents. Can you imagine? Fifteen cents!!! Do you know what I'd do for that much coke?! DO YOU !?!?!
  
  
• These weren't fun after all.

History

In the beginning, there was the coca plant. When it's "medicinal" properties were discovered, cocaine was soon to follow. Crack In The Box, at that time known as the Krueger Family Pharmacy, was one of the first stores to sell the "miracle drug," much to the delight of Max Krueger.

Once cocaine's addictive properties were discovered and it was banned in the United States, (in 1932,) interest declined in the product. Slightly. So the folks at Crack In The Box knew they had to do something to attract their customers back. After a few weeks of research in their bathroom in Queens with the neighbors' cat, Mufkins, a crystallized form of cocaine was developed. This new form made it easier to smoke, and gave a faster, stronger, all in all more devastatingly wonderful high -- and Crack was born. That's right -- Crack In The Box invented crack. And we still make it best.

While crack has varied in popularity over the years, at least one of our menu offerings has always ranked very highly among the drug community. The variety of our menu has kept us thriving for almost a hundred years. Proof once again that where there's want, there's Crack In The Box.

Product Innovation, Variety & Value At Crack In The Box

We invented crack.

In the early days, crack was available over the counter. Then the evil, satanist U.S. government took it away. So Max Krueger came up with the founding innovation for Crack In The Box -- crack.

The Crack In The Box charter -- Bringing crack to the people. In the name of freedom.

Then, after various competitors sprung up, the Second Crack In The Box innovation: fast drugs. Tired of waiting in line at your local dealer? Not at Crack In The Box. In fact, Crack In The Box was the world's first drive-through drug-dealer. It's true.

Bringing you crack...fast.

In the early days, most places were segregated. Most "pharmacies" catered only to whites. But we knew all along that discrimination was wrong. That's why we sold drugs to everybody, whether white, black, Hindi, Eskimo, pedophile, nudist -- you name it. We were and are blind to color, social status, and warrant of arrest. As long as you have cash, that is.

Serving addicts of all races for 70 years.

Also, we started the "Made in the U.S.A." movement, and have carried it on long after it died a horrible, screaming death. While our pot and cocaine are imported, (from only the finest "plantations" in, respectively, Jamaica and the White Triangle of Colombia, Brazil, and Peru,) our crack and heroin are produced entirely here in the U.S. of A.

Made in America, for America.

CRACK'S BACK!

In the '80s, Crack In The Box began to take a slight dip in sales. Mind you, this had nothing to do with Nancy Reagan, this was all business. Mark Krueger, Max's great-grandson and current CEO of Crack In The Box, had made some bad investments. He broke the golden rule of our business, and tried the product. He disappeared for two years. When he returned, Betty Ford had cleaned him up well. He was now a model executive. A model executive with a vision. A model executive who now had eyes just sunken enough to be a model. But at any rate, unlike models, he had a vision -- he would tell the tale of his hardship through the character his father had created while still intoxicated by the fumes secretly leaking out of a tank of nitrous oxide: Crakio, also known as Crack.

Setting The Standard For Food Safety & Quality

In 1994, Crack in the Box implemented the fast-drug industry's first comprehensive Heroin Analysis & Crack Control Points (HACCP) system for managing 'food' safety and quality from "coca to crack." This HACCP system includes one guy smoking the crack, and another guy licking a used cocaine mirror in a mad frenzy.

Considered the industry leader in product safety, Crack In The Box continues to support tougher legislations to regulate the plastic and aluminum foil industries so that when you freebase, all you're getting is the coke.

All Crack In The Box restaurant management personnel go through SmokSafe®, a rigorous nationally recognized 'food' safety training and certification program. Crack In The Box makes sure that every employee knows how to find the best run-down old shack possible to make the crack in, and to find the most public, yet least suspicious place to sell the crack.

Crack In The Box: Smart & Sanitary

Poppyright 1998 Northwood Pharmaceutical, Inc. All rights reserved.